Friday, December 01, 2006


The federal government is disclosing that it assigns a computer-generated score to millions of Americans. What is the score? It's your terror score! It is supposed to measure the risk you pose of being a terrorist or criminal. And you're not going to believe how they do it. The scores are assigned to travelers, both foreign and domestic, based on a variety of factors.

The criteria for determining how dangerous or terrorist-prone you are includes: an analysis of your travel records, where you are from, how you paid for your tickets (cash? Terrorist!,) Add in your motor vehicle records, any one-way travel you've done in the past, seating preferences and what kind of meal you ordered. Apparently stewed goat with figs isn't going to help you here. It's called ATS...the Department of Homeland Security's "Automated Targeting System." [pdf] This system, which no doubt cost quite a bit of taxpayer money to deploy, is a complete waste of time. I've got a better idea.

How about a much simpler that could be administered by airport security. It is guaranteed to catch all of the world's terrorists and potential airplane hijackers. It would have prevented the 9/11 hijackings. Want to hear it? Here goes. A few simple questions to determine if you are a terrorist: 1.) Are you a Muslim? 2.) Are you from an Arab country? 3.) Why are you here? There you have it...a foolproof way to root out all of the terrorists that are flying into or out of this country.

And what does meal preference have to do with it?

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