THIS IS JUST TOO GOOD

A news report today says Al Sharpton is related to a slave once owned by Strom Thurmond's ancestors. Obviously, Al will now have to sue for reparations. In other race hustler news, Louis Farrakhan is calling for the impeachment of President Bush. Evidently this was Farrakhan's last speech, due to failing health. Get well, Calypso Louie.....where would we be without your racism? Anyway, back to Sharpton.

The link between Sharpton and Thurmond was discovered by a genealogist website. The media is acting as if Thurmond himself held slaves...but the once champion of segregation wasn't that old. His great, great grandfather's daughter held Sharpton's ancestor as a slave. So what will Al Sharpton do? Well, obviously since he's back in the headlines because of this news, he'll have to do something about it. Time to make some hay.

You know, Virginia has recently apologized for slavery. This could be Al's time...time to bring the issue of reparations for slavery back up. Obviously Al is owed money...there was a slave in his family! Time to cash in. If she's smart, Sharpton will champion the cause...and push for the reparations E.B.T.

The fact that Strom Thurmond's name has come up...priceless.

BECOMING ILLEGAL

(Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator)

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC , 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert


Burlington , IA

Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue Service 1-800-289-1040.

Please pass this onto your friends so they can save on this great offer!!!!

GEARING UP TO BOMB IRAN

Iran has been naughty lately...defying the United Nations and refusing to stop enriching uranium. According to media reports, Israel has requested permission from the United States to fly over Iraq on a bombing run to Tehran. We should let them.....time to bomb the reactors and put Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in his place. But the mere mention of bombing Iran sends the left into an absolute panic.

Now we hear news that there are generals at the Pentagon that will resign if we attack Iran. Why? Will those same generals resign if Iran sells a nuclear weapon to Al-Qaeda? What about if Iran bombs Tel Aviv? You don't hear too much about that. The way the media positions the terrorist state, you would think we would be bombing Canada.

And what is Iran going to do? Terrorist groups backed by Iran say that the country is expecting to be attacked...and is going to order terrorist attacks against Israeli and American interests. And by the way, Iran is a terrorist state that backs terrorist groups....in case you didn't know.

Don't these people at the Pentagon watch '24?' Evidently not.

MEXICO UPSET AT US AGAIN

Mexico's Congress (there's a Mexican Congress? Evidently yes.) Anyway, they're upset because they say our border fence has gone 10 yards into Mexico. Fine...perhaps we should file a complaint because 12 million of their citizens have gone several miles into our country? I guess that doesn't count. So what are we going to do about this border dispute? Perhaps we should've filed a request for an easement with the Mexican consulate ahead of time.

The alleged violation has taken place at the border with Arizona, where the Mexicans are complaining workers and equipment have strayed into their space. The U.S. Ambassador has released a statement saying "The US is sensitive to Mexican concerns.....and has the deepest respect for the integrity of the sovereignty of Mexican soil." We do? Well, we shouldn't....they have no respect for our border, so why should we respect theirs? But fear not...there will be high level talks soon. Condoleezza Rice will be in Canada to meet with her Mexican counterpart to talk about border security.

It's funny how in all of Mexico's complaining about the United States, nobody ever asks them why millions of their people flee their country every year. I mean, really...you'd think they'd be a bit embarrassed. Evidently not. At any rate, we should tell them to take their complaint and shove it. Besides, what are they going to do? Nothing, of course.