THE TOP TEN REASONS WHY ANOTHER AMNESTY IS SWELL FOR AMERICA

By Don Feder

Some of you out there think amnesty is a four-letter word. Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich spoke for you when he warned, "The announcement... that the White House and a group of senators have reached an agreement on 'comprehensive immigration reform' should have the same effect that the word 'iceberg' had on the passengers and crew of the Titanic."

Erroneous! Another amnesty for an estimated 12 million to 20 million illegal aliens is just what the doctor ordered -- if Jack Kevorkian is the attending physician.

Here are the top ten reasons why another amnesty will be the best thing to happen to America since the influenza epidemic of 1918 and the Wall Street Crash of '29.

1. We can't send them all back -- The argument conjures up images of swarms of heavily armed agents in jackboots, all dead ringers for Major Strasser in "Casablanca," kicking down doors and dragging away terrified occupants. That only happens if the feds are coming for 6-year-old Cubans fleeing Castro's gulag, and Janet Reno is Attorney General.

` Posing an impossibility (deporting every illegal in the land) as the only alternative to an absurdity (amnesty) makes the latter look realistic.

We can't catch every murderer, rapist, child pornographer or drug dealer either. So -- what the heck -- let's stop enforcing those laws too.

I know. I know. We really don't have to catch them all -- just dry up their sources of employment and most will leave voluntarily. But, keep it to yourself.

2. They're taking jobs Americans don't want -- This is another way of saying that corporations, contractors, restaurants, landscapers, etc. want cheap, docile labor (and are delighted to have you, the taxpayer, make up the difference in increased social service/law enforcement costs). In reality, almost anyone will take any job at the right wage. Corporate America wants low, subsidized wages.

Thomas Sowell points out that even in the agricultural sector (generally thought of as the province of border-jumpers), only 24% of all workers are illegal. Where did farmers find the Americans to handle the other 76% of their labor?

On the other end of the spectrum, many of those employed in rebuilding areas devastated by Katrina were illegal. Bet you didn't know that carpentry and welding were jobs Americans don't want.

3. An amnesty will help control our borders -- If we no longer have borders, controlling them will be a breeze. Last year, Congress authorized a fence along 700 miles of our 2,000 mile-long border with Mexico. Guess how many miles have been built to date? Two. But as every savvy proponent of comprehensive immigration reform knows, the way to control our borders is with magnets, not barriers. Build it and they won't come?

Just imagine, if this amnesty goes through, anyone who can procure two documents (a utility bill, a rent receipt) purporting to show that they've been here since January 1, 2007 can apply for a "Z" visa. Rest assured, this will not set off a mad dash for the border, as millions more from Mexico seek economic asylum -- any more than this amnesty will lure future illegals here in hopes of yet another.

4. Diversity is our greatest strength -- Bringing in hordes of people who want to live in America, but not to be Americans, will make us stronger. Admitting those who are contemptuous of our history and heritage will make us stronger. Legalizing aliens who question our right to exist as a nation will make us stronger. National suicide will make us stronger, as a nation.

This year's pro-amnesty demonstrations featured arrogant mendicants marching with signs that read "We are indigenous! The ONLY owners of this continent." What a great way to start their journey toward citizenship and assimilation.

If the presence of millions upon millions of Mexicans who think we stole their country will make us more vibrant, just imagine what a growing population of those who call us infidels for not embracing their religion will do for our national unity. A recent Pew Research poll of American Muslims showed only 26% believe the war on terror is a sincere effort to reduce terrorism, 40% think Arabs did not carry out the 9/11 attacks, and a hefty 26% of religion-of-peace-niks under 30 believe suicide bombings are justified. Can't get more diverse than that.

5. English is sooo boring! -- In 1980, 11% of adult Americans spoke a language other than English at home. By 1990, that figure rose to 14%. In 2000, it was 18%. Do you discern a trend here?

Isn't it fun to get an automated answering machine that instructs you to press "1" if you want to continue in English? (Wait until we're given the option of pressing "8" to continue in Swahili and "9" to continue in Arabic.) Don't you enjoy going to a shopping mall and hearing the new Americans jabber in their native tongues? Bilingualism has proved such a blessing for Canada. Wait till we have multilingualism here.

Besides, under Executive Order 13166, the federal government now requires grant recipients (including hospitals) to provide interpreters for everyone who can't communicate in the language they're supposed to speak when they come here. And think of all the trees we can sacrifice for government forms printed in Spanish, Portuguese, Russian, Arabic, Urdu and Tagalog.

6. It's a great way to grow the welfare state -- Amnestied illegals are immediately eligible for Medicaid and nearly 60 other welfare programs.

The undocs (undocumented workers) made kosher will eventually bring in a score of family members, through aptly termed chain migration. Among other benefits, children of the newly legalized will get public school educations worth $9,600 a piece, on average.

The Heritage Foundation's Robert Rector estimates that, in government benefits alone, this amnesty will cost us approximately $2 trillion. More government spending means more government workers and more power in the hands of politicians. This is just one frequently overlooked blessing of amnesties.

7. It's compassionate -- Especially for the working class and urban minorities -- who are on the receiving end of this particular brand of compassion.

In testimony before Congress, T. Willard Fair (president of the Urban League of Greater Miami) recalled that back in 1965, Ted Kennedy, architect of that year's comprehensive immigration reform, assured us: "The bill will not flood our cities with immigrants. It will not cause American workers to lose their jobs." (And we were dumb enough to believe him!)

Harvard scholar George Borjas found that immigration (legal and illegal) has cut the wages of American men without a high school diploma by roughly $1,800 a year. Fair says that since 1965, one-third of the drop in black male employment can be attributed to immigration.

There aren't a lot of surgeons, lawyers, newspaper editors and foundation presidents wading across the Rio Grande. It's those on the lower rungs of the economic ladder who get knocked off by illegal aliens. How can we deny Ted Kennedy another opportunity to feel compassionate on the backs of the native-born poor and working class?

8. Cops don't have enough to do -- 29% of all federal inmates are criminal aliens. In the last 5 years, 72,000 aliens have been arrested on drug charges alone.

More than 30,000 illegal-alien gang members operate in 33 states (including the notorious Salvadoran Mara Salvatrucha 13), dealing in drugs, arms and prostitution. All a gang member has to do to be amnestied is to sign "a renunciation of gang affiliation" form. (How about notes from their mothers saying they promise to behave?)

In Indianapolis, 27-year-old Jonathan Castillo is under arrest for raping a 7-year-old girl. According to the local news, Castillo is an undocumented rapist. Clearly, we don't have enough indigenous perverts, drug-dealers and gang members, and so needs must import them.

9. Terrorists Deserve a Fighting Chance -- Under the Comprehensive Immigration Deform act now before the Senate, the government has 24 hours to do background checks on amnesty applicants. If nothing turns up, Abu Illegal gets a provisional amnesty that he can use to run around the country legally.

But there's no unified database. Information about those with terrorist ties is buried in the archives of dozens of foreign governments, and can take months to dig out.

Of the 6 terrorists recently arrested for plotting an attack on Fort Dix, three were in the country illegally for at least 20 years. The standard argument for our Iraq intervention is that if we don't fight them (Al Qaeda, et al) there, we'll have to fight them here. Whatever happens in Iraq, thanks to Comprehensive Immigration Reform, we'll have plenty of chances to fight them here too.

10. It's good politics -- Pro-amnesty politicians operate on the premise that, while Middle Americans (normally comatose) won't retaliate, amnestied illegals on their way to citizenship and their supporters will show their gratitude at the ballot box. It's a classic case of sacrificing the national interest to scrounge a few votes. Think of it as a going-out-of-business sale -- for America.

If the Comprehensive Immigration Reform bomb is detonated, you can begin your journey to bilingualism by practicing the following phrase -- "Hasta la vista, America!"